Trans

A zero point five in a world
full of ones and zeroes,
a statistic.
I’m stuck somewhere in the middle
between truth and lies.
Conforming.
Working, eating, shitting,
shitting, eating,
working to pay the minimum amount.
I wake up to a bad case
of congestion.
A head full of honking
horns, tire screeches,
and exhaust fumes.
I co-exist with mannequins,
and drones,
and zombies,
whose plastic personalities
manufacture hellos
and goodbyes,
doing their part to make
the world go ’round.
Like ancient civilizations,
my body aches,
to make a modern living.
arthritis,
carpal tunnel,
neck aches,
back aches,
headaches.
Heartache.
I’ve abandoned optimism
in the name of survival,
structuring my day
within a 9 and 5,
spending whatever time I have left
waiting for the cycle
to start over…
I consume.
Finding temporary joy,
seeking permanent happiness.

I’m a skeptic.
Observing a world
that has ceased to evolve.
Through my eyes,
there is no movement,
there is no progress.
I live in a society
restricted by laws and fear,
constrained by rules and
regulation,
inhibited by conventions,
methodology and procedures.
I choose not to rebel.
I’m a follower,
blending into my surroundings,
socially accepted by
nodding my head in constant
agreement.
I’ve grown passive.
Aware of my ignorance
to the affairs of society.
I’m silent.
Relying on others to
give life to my voice.
I have no outlets,
I have no escapes.
There is no “I” in individual.
There is no canvas
to share my thoughts,
express my worries,
or paint my opinions.
I’m content in
this routine living.
A perfect structure
that’s laid out for me,
never once questioning
what I can do to change it.
The only direction I
move is forward,
following the footsteps
others have taken,
leaving mine for people
to step on.

I live in a stagnant world
where progress is foreign,
and creativity is archaic.
A world lacking innovation
independent thought, and
originality.
A world lacking emotion,
expression, and freedom.
I am unseen, unheard,
unknown.
Passionate about nothing,
yet satisfied with
everything.
I’ve abandoned the thought
of change,
and embraced the idea
of submission.

I’ve given up on living.

Stop.

Listen to yourself.

Written by A.A. (circa 2003)



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