I long for that contract we signed.
That bind to align our unparalleled lines
into one combined body and mind.
Feeling your blood flow through mine.
But my new companion is time…
Our separation,
a regretful demonstration of my weakening rationalization,
adding complications
to a non-existant situation:
Me and You, You and I, Us.
The composition of love, lust, acceptance, and trust.
Your wind constantly gusts…
Blowing over my sensibility and ability
to stagnate a cyclical soliloquy.
A battle fought within me…
I’ve surrendered, opened the flood gates
to vulnerability,
Drowned integrity in a wait
for your hand to free me from immobility.
And there you stood.
Watching effort fall out of the sky.
While I soaked my eyes,
in self-imposing lies…
and made attempts to preoccupy my life
with diversions that left me dissatisfied.
So enjoy your time..
Down to the nanosecond.
I’d wait, but right now my heart rate
does not cooperate with fate.
Distance aches,
and is the only means to alleviate
a suffocating swim in your lake,
hooked on addictive bait.
I live without
a pinch of animosity or anger…
Though your presence is now danger,
and each day avoidance becomes second nature,
as I sort through vast acres,
of memories stacked in layers,
patiently disassembling our past
to start over as strangers.

Written by A.A. (circa 2000)

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